Tuesday, 1 March 2011

The True Sadness of Playground Politics

Tuesday 1st March
My eldest is in Year 1 at school and already I have noticed there is exclusion, segregation and isolation and I wish this was from the children.  This I can excuse.  This I can fix. 
Today I came home crying from the school playground.  No one was nasty to me, but no one came to talk to me either.  At one point my youngest who is obsessed with babies went over to another Year 1 mum to look into her pram and I overheard her talking to another mum about rearranging the girly night as no one could make it.  Had my emails been mislaid?  Had my phone not worked properly?  No, this is the second clicky group who has arranged a mum’s evening without me.
Don’t get me wrong, some of the mums really like me and I have even had a night out with a couple once or twice.  But as my husband always says I am marmite.  I am outspoken, honest and share my feelings with others.  I am NOT nasty, bitchy, rude or hateful behind people’s backs.  I make the mistake of showing my true self. I do not put up fronts, smile inanely and make small talk about makeup, the weather or show business.
And for this I am persecuted.  I have learnt over the years that shallowness makes for good acquaintances.  Do I sacrifice myself to be liked or do I carry on being who I am, risking no invitation to an inane evening of coffee and bitching.  I know the answer is to stay true to myself.  But just once I would like to be liked for who I am, not who people want me to be.