November for me is a funny month. After the excitement of October where I celebrate my birthday and turn into the Princess I secretly hide 364 days a year, October contains my favourite holiday - Halloween!
Friday, 8 November 2013
Saturday, 2 November 2013
Post Half-Term Stress Disorder and Boiling of the Gym Bunnies
The end of half-term is very similar to that euphoric feeling when you have won something or that nice tingly feeling you get when you have had just enough to drink to make you tipsy but not too much that you feel dizzy and sick.
I am pleased to say that I currently have that nice feeling now that the weekend is here and they are now pestering their daddy. It has been a long week made up of playdates, tennis club, indoor play areas, trick or treating and a day trip to see their daddy at work for lunch. This means he gets the joy of an hour of them being given treats whilst I have to endure the hour and a half journey each way of dirty trains, rude passengers and trying to ensure my children don't catch the Ebola virus due to licking the windows, hand rails and upholstery.
I am pleased to say that I currently have that nice feeling now that the weekend is here and they are now pestering their daddy. It has been a long week made up of playdates, tennis club, indoor play areas, trick or treating and a day trip to see their daddy at work for lunch. This means he gets the joy of an hour of them being given treats whilst I have to endure the hour and a half journey each way of dirty trains, rude passengers and trying to ensure my children don't catch the Ebola virus due to licking the windows, hand rails and upholstery.
Monday, 28 October 2013
"Has it been this long??" And "I hate half terms"
I hang my head in shame! I have not blogged for a while due to actually having a job to do (temporary and now they "don't have the budget for me anymore") and actually having to "parent" rather than just talk about it.
But here we are at the end of 2013 and I have just had my big birthday ... nearly as depressing as the jowls that are starting to form where my cheeks used to be and that stubborn hair that keeps growing every few months on my chin.
But here we are at the end of 2013 and I have just had my big birthday ... nearly as depressing as the jowls that are starting to form where my cheeks used to be and that stubborn hair that keeps growing every few months on my chin.
Tuesday, 19 March 2013
Swimming, crawling in vomit and an AWOL electrician
Today started as any normal weekday should, the first few hours running around attempting to shower, get dressed and look seemingly human whilst simultaneously ensuring my two sons were doing their usual routine inorder to get them to school and pre-school.
The morning continued in the same vein, doing a drive by at the primary school followed by waiting in the Pre-School corridor for the 9.15am door to open at its usual time of 9.21am.
After the most boring morning at work being designated the shittiest jobs around and picking my son up at 1pm we went to his swimming class.
Today was a special day as son no2 had his new goggles which allowed him to try to drown himself at least 3 times which he found very exciting. The lifeguard or myself not so much, but beggars can't be choosers!
Today was particularly important as my useless in-laws were going to "help" me in the afternoon and evening - an arrangement that had been made around the same time as the Magna Carta - as I needed to help a friend during my youngest bed time.
But no, with five minutes to go I got a phone call from the in-laws to say that the electrician had come unexpectedly and had popped out for "two minutes" about an hour ago and had left all his "gear" in the flat.
To stall things I decided to let my youngest go in the indoor play. After five minutes Son No2 came out with a very funny smell and "stuff" on his trousers. "Mummy, I've crawled through someone's sick". Had he been sick, no his face was clean but his trousers - dear god! Have you ever had to use bog roll to clean someone else's vomit off your trousers - it isn't easy. At least the mums in the indoor play were sympathetic and looked at Son No2 like the devil and proceeded to tell me that their little darlings hadn't thrown up. I prayed silently that the boy in the ball pool currently chucking his guts up would come out covered in his own disgusting vomit and smear it on said mother!!
Having to then go straight to the useless in-law's flat, we waited for the electrician who had gone AWOL.
The dopey electrician finally came back fixed the problem ... at least we think he did, we won't apparently know until midnight "when the light will come on". My mother-in-law was ecstatic.
Back at home I had to prepare Son No2 for bed and make supper which would cook whilst I rushed out for half an hour to help my friend and pick up Son No1.
On strict instructions to turn off the hob when the buzzer went but keep on the oven, I came home to the hob burning the vegetables whilst the chicken was un-cooking itself in the cold oven which had been turned off.
Sheesh - what a day. Serves me right for needing the in-laws help - next time I'll use a complete stranger!
The morning continued in the same vein, doing a drive by at the primary school followed by waiting in the Pre-School corridor for the 9.15am door to open at its usual time of 9.21am.
After the most boring morning at work being designated the shittiest jobs around and picking my son up at 1pm we went to his swimming class.
Today was a special day as son no2 had his new goggles which allowed him to try to drown himself at least 3 times which he found very exciting. The lifeguard or myself not so much, but beggars can't be choosers!
Today was particularly important as my useless in-laws were going to "help" me in the afternoon and evening - an arrangement that had been made around the same time as the Magna Carta - as I needed to help a friend during my youngest bed time.
But no, with five minutes to go I got a phone call from the in-laws to say that the electrician had come unexpectedly and had popped out for "two minutes" about an hour ago and had left all his "gear" in the flat.
To stall things I decided to let my youngest go in the indoor play. After five minutes Son No2 came out with a very funny smell and "stuff" on his trousers. "Mummy, I've crawled through someone's sick". Had he been sick, no his face was clean but his trousers - dear god! Have you ever had to use bog roll to clean someone else's vomit off your trousers - it isn't easy. At least the mums in the indoor play were sympathetic and looked at Son No2 like the devil and proceeded to tell me that their little darlings hadn't thrown up. I prayed silently that the boy in the ball pool currently chucking his guts up would come out covered in his own disgusting vomit and smear it on said mother!!
Having to then go straight to the useless in-law's flat, we waited for the electrician who had gone AWOL.
The dopey electrician finally came back fixed the problem ... at least we think he did, we won't apparently know until midnight "when the light will come on". My mother-in-law was ecstatic.
Back at home I had to prepare Son No2 for bed and make supper which would cook whilst I rushed out for half an hour to help my friend and pick up Son No1.
On strict instructions to turn off the hob when the buzzer went but keep on the oven, I came home to the hob burning the vegetables whilst the chicken was un-cooking itself in the cold oven which had been turned off.
Sheesh - what a day. Serves me right for needing the in-laws help - next time I'll use a complete stranger!
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
Pre-School Birthday Parties - YUK
Saturday I was forced to go to yet another pre-school party which included the usual key ingredients:
Also there seems to be a trend at the moment not to provide decent nourishment to children such as vegetables or juice. Now it is the thing to give them jam sandwiches, crisps and chocolate as a staple lunch whilst making sure the parents get nothing except for a breadstick and water (sparkling of course). I wouldn't mind but the party was from 12 to 2pm so over the lunch period.
Don't get me wrong (I know I sound so up myself), at my son's party they had pizza but at least there was carrot, tomatoes and cucumber for them to ignore at leisure.
I have decided to go to the next party in a cocktail dress and demand champagne, it may start a trend!
- Mums dolled up to the nines trying to outdo eachother in their war paint and heels department
- An entertainer who seemed to believe 4 year olds are very deaf so needed her mic up to 450 decibels inorder to either make their ears bleed or other kids cry
- A lot of 4 year old children running around on sugar, loud entertainment and S Club Seven (the last of which I am happy to dance to)
Also there seems to be a trend at the moment not to provide decent nourishment to children such as vegetables or juice. Now it is the thing to give them jam sandwiches, crisps and chocolate as a staple lunch whilst making sure the parents get nothing except for a breadstick and water (sparkling of course). I wouldn't mind but the party was from 12 to 2pm so over the lunch period.
Don't get me wrong (I know I sound so up myself), at my son's party they had pizza but at least there was carrot, tomatoes and cucumber for them to ignore at leisure.
I have decided to go to the next party in a cocktail dress and demand champagne, it may start a trend!
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