I hang my head in shame! I have not blogged for a while due to actually having a job to do (temporary and now they "don't have the budget for me anymore") and actually having to "parent" rather than just talk about it.
But here we are at the end of 2013 and I have just had my big birthday ... nearly as depressing as the jowls that are starting to form where my cheeks used to be and that stubborn hair that keeps growing every few months on my chin.
I am currently hiding upstairs whilst my in-laws are playing monopoly with my children. The fact there seems to be a lot of screaming downstairs can only mean one thing, my mother-in-law has given up after at least 14 minutes of playtime so she can catch up on her Women's Own magazine.
It is the start of half term, or as I like to call it, "actual work as a parent" and of course we have been threatened with the weather from hell (or the arctic, I can't tell).
After mild wind and my bin lids lifting for the neighbours to properly peruse my recycled rubbish (which technically isn't always recyclable) we went for a walk to our local cafe where the usual WAGS and builders were huddled together uncomfortably. I do love my cafe where social status counts for nothing.
I have had to endure the start of school over again where my youngest has started Reception Class.
As it is a (said in hushed tones) state school, reception have a "staggered start" which basically translates as the reception teacher spending the first half of the new term pissing around doing very little and ensuring the parents suffer as much as possible.
Now that both my children are fully engaged in state education I can again concentrate on getting wound up by playground politics, crying as I inevitably insult someone accidently and go through the social etiquette of trying to make friends with new mothers.
Ah bliss!
Don't worry my blogs will be on hand to make sure you are fully aware of my massive failures and my constant faux pas.
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