Saturday, 2 November 2013

Post Half-Term Stress Disorder and Boiling of the Gym Bunnies

The end of half-term is very similar to that euphoric feeling when you have won something or that nice tingly feeling you get when you have had just enough to drink to make you tipsy but not too much that you feel dizzy and sick.

I am pleased to say that I currently have that nice feeling now that the weekend is here and they are now pestering their daddy.  It has been a long week made up of playdates, tennis club, indoor play areas, trick or treating and a day trip to see their daddy at work for lunch.  This means he gets the joy of an hour of them being given treats whilst I have to endure the hour and a half journey each way of dirty trains, rude passengers and trying to ensure my children don't catch the Ebola virus due to licking the windows, hand rails and upholstery.


I must confess I do and have always loved Halloween.  My favourite memories are trick and treating with my older sister (my mother was too busy cooking and in the old days there wasn't the fear of a paedophile behind every tree) and watching a very unsuitable horror film with my dad whilst nestling in his armpit knowing that he will protect me from a shark/knife wielding killer/omen or other monsters of the night.

So my half-term duties are over for another six weeks until Christmas (is it me or has Xmas started earlier again this year?).  However there is a new annoyance on the horizon that has been building - gym bunnies.

About two months ago I decided to join a gym as my birthday was approaching and I was going through a mid-life crisis.

I was offered a one hour personal training session which involved being shouted at by a bloke who did everything in his power to make me feel pain and nauseous.  I did feel at the time that I could have got this for free by going to the local supermarket and get into a trolley rage argument with an old person.

After this I have been religiously going to classes and ad hoc.  During this time I have lost weight, gained confidence and decided that gym etiquette is just a term rather than a policy.

An example of this is a step class which has a lovely teacher from China who barely speaks English but has the energy and smile to make you feel good.  She is great, the customers on the other hand are horrid.  It is very cliquey and if you are a "newbie" you will be welcomed with cold shoulders, tuts if you go in the wrong direction and the constant whooping and cheering when they get the steps right and don't fall over.  This is on top of the hideous sucking up they do with the step instructor.

It also didn't help that in my first class I managed to slip and fall over.  And as you ask, no, no one did come to my rescue or ask if I was ok.

To be honest I have never been a fan of gym members.  I am a fan of gyms but their members leave a lot to be desired.

So all in all I feel I have survived the trials of half term and am gradually getting my life back allowing me time to feel bad about myself at the gym or stay home and pray the washing will do itself.

So Christmas holiday, bring it on, I am ready for you!