Monday, 2 December 2013

Free Food in Costco, An Uncomfortable Zumba Class, My Gift at Plumbing and Flat Batteries

Phew! What a week and the Christmas build-up hasn't even started yet.

Last week started beautifully having coffee with probably the most genuinely kindest individuals I have ever known.  It is rare to meet anyone who has a heart of gold rather than the 99% who pretend to do so but occasionally one does surface where despite adversity they try to see the light at the end of the tunnel and by doing so make your life even richer.

After my brief coffee morning chat I needed to pop to Costco to purchase new tyres on the premise that mine are basically bald and if not changed will result in horrendous problems going forward.

As timing was tight due to my impending zumba class and with my stomach rumbling from my "not eating anything before Christmas" diet I did the best thing I could and that was to go around Costco stuffing my face with the free tasters offered out.  I was very lucky as they were offering quite a few biscuits as well as some drinks to wash it down with.

At zumba I prepared myself as I always do by scouring at the other yummy mummys' and made sure I was in the centre front so that when my sweat caused my glasses to fall off I would still be able to see the instructor if I squinted a lot.

During zumba a thought occurred to me that I had worn the "wrong" bra and no supporting vest top.

Now, for most ordinary people this is not a problem, however as I am "luckily" well endowed and apparently would make Jordon jealous, this was a huge issue and throughout my uncoordinated zumba moves had to ensure my hands were placed on my boobs to stop me getting a black eye or knocking someone else out.

After a shower and some time to fold clothes at home whilst watching shit on TV I picked up my kids which every day is a mission as most school mums cannot park or drive even if the space they are parking in is as big as an open field!

At home my youngest always like to announce when he is going to the toilet to do "the poo" and when he came out he mentioned that the flush wasn't working and was sticking up.  I knew this was a very bad omen as my son does have the touch of death when it comes to inanimate objects.

Rushing upstairs I could hear trickling and seeing the cistern overflowing started to do what any decent person does in this situation.  Run around in a circle, shout loudly at my son, take the lid off the cistern and somehow manage to stop a pipe in there from spewing out more water.

Noticing the flush handle was completely lose I called my husband (assuming he will give me key instructions) to be told he will go to B&Q just before 8pm.

Wanting to save money as December is a very expensive month, I put on some rubber gloves and delved in.

During this my husband called back at 5.47pm to say that Saracens evening was in 13 minutes and I should rush my (not in the house but on at a friend's house) son to Saracens immediately in his rugby gear or he will lose £25.

I very calmly (ok, I was screaming) told my husband that a) Our eldest was out b) by the time I collected him, got him dressed and to Saracens it would be very late and c) I had rubber gloves on and was trying to "fix the fucking toilet flush".  He told me to calm down (yes that helped) and said it didn't matter!  Don't you just love men.

By some sheer miracle I actually fixed the toilet flush.  I was very very smug.

The next morning was a delight when, rushing the kids into the car it decided not to start and completely conked out.  Luckily (for me not them) my neighbour was still in and I begged her to take me and the kids to school.  She complied but I think it was more fear that persuaded her rather than kindness.

Coming back home my other neighbour who loves to tinker with cars gladly helped me out with my flat battery using jumper cables.

So all ended up well in the end.

Now you know why last week was a "phew!" week!

And now I've put the house in Christmas Lockdown so I can concentrate on all things christmasy - presents, food, decorations, cards for school etc etc.  I'm exhausted.  Roll on new year.